It’s ingenious. I hope Ikea is paying attention:

When a 75-year-old Dutch woman was pulled over for not wearing her seat belt, she tossed something out the window. The evidence she unsuccessfully tried to ditch was a package of cocaine. She admitted she had marijuana on her, too. Drug dealing isn’t your usual retirement plan, but this woman said she needed the cash to feed her cats.

According to Radio Netherlands Worldwide, the cops let her off with a warning when she promised to find a more legal means of meeting her pet food tab. This story raises a lot of questions – How many cats did she have? Did anyone check on her to see if there was a hoarding problem? Anyone call social services? Anyone try to find out who her supplier was? Or were they all too busy being flabbergasted by the drug dealing crazy cat lady to get to the bottom of the situation?

For the record: I’m not calling her a crazy cat lady because she needed a cocaine-sized salary to feed the number of cats she had. I tend to see that a slur against people who have legit – albeit devastating - psychological issues and brushing them off as “crazy” doesn’t get us any closer to resolving the issues and saving animals. And we don’t even know how many cats this woman had – maybe it was just one or two who subsisted on imported sushi-grade fish. No, I’m calling her a crazy cat lady because Grandma dealt drugs to buy cat food.

That’s dedication, but there have got to be better ways. I mean, I’ll go pretty far for my animals, but I keep it legal. My cats and dogs wouldn’t do well if I was locked away in prison.

Photo credit: foxypar4

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a foster kitten, mostly because of a couple of rules I have to keep the relative sanity around here. Rule #1 is that my animals, the ones I’ve made a lifetime commitment to, always come first. We’ve had a rough couple of years with one animal after another battling cancer. So, no fosters when one of The Pack needs my attention.

I usually don’t have more than one foster at a time, and Wilbur is still here, but after almost ten months, he’s settled in enough for our routine to handle a little disruption. 

That disruption’s name is Raymond. He was the perfect foster opportunity for me right now: a single kitten with your basic upper respiratory infection who needed to get out of the shelter for 3-4 weeks. And Raymond has reminded me how fun it is to foster kittens. So, if you’ve never had the pleasure, here’s what you’re missing:

1. It’s Like Being Grandma. It’s not that being around these tiny critters who have only been in the world for a few weeks makes you feel old and worn out. A foster home is like going to grandma’s house — all the fun, none of the responsiblity. Okay, you have a little responsibility as a foster parent, but since your job is mostly to spoil them if they’re sick, fatten them up if they’re too young, and/or play with them if they’re undersocialized, it’s a pretty good deal.

2. All Play, All the Time. You know those people who are so easily amused that you know they’ll always laugh at your jokes and think whatever you’re doing is the funnest thing ever? Kittens will play with any thing, any time. Since they’re so much smaller than Puppies of Destruction, you don’t have to fear as much for your personal belongings or your extremities. Sure, they may toss something off a shelf but, more often than not, they’re the ones that go tumbling. They’re just that uncoordinated at this age. So, if you’re ever stressed and just need to be with someone who’s ready for brainless entertainment, hang out with the kitten.

3. Who’s the Itty-Bitty Bad Ass? Most baby kittens are fearless. And when they are afraid, they put on this whole routine where they puff up their already-puffy fur and let out these little hisses like you’re supposed to be afraid of the 16 oz. can of whup-ass they’re threatening to open. It’s really pretty cute — I mean scary … yeah,  you’re a real punk, little guy!

4. And They Lived Happily Ever After. Most kittens get adopted pretty quickly once they’re in the shelter. When you foster an older dog, there’s not that same guarantee; they may be in your house for months (not to mention any names) or, if you bring them back to the shelter once they’re healed from whatever injury they have, they may sit for a long time before finding a home. And then you have to worry: what if the new home doesn’t work out? But kittens fly off the shelves (literally and figuratively). Most people adopting a kitten can’t resist the charm (see #2 and #3) and they know what they’re in for, so the love will last. Foster kittens are almost a guaranteed happily ever after … and who couldn’t use that in their lives?

Then again, if you think about your cat talking, you probably already know about this site…