Twitter Tips for Dogs and Writers

Martin Matheny, one of my fellow bloggers over at Change.org, posted about a new gizmo from Mattel that will tweet for your dog. “Puppy Tweets” attaches to your dog’s collar and when she is within range of your computer, it will generate and upload one of 500 pre-programmed Twitter messages.

Here’s why this waste of $29.99 misses the point, whether you’re tweeting for your dog, your writing career, or any other reason:

1) Pre-programmed messages are great … if you want to have a really lame account. Twitter is about interesting soundbytes: sharing bits of who you are, what you’re interested in, and how you see the world. Not only do Mattel’s messages not fit any of those criteria, but 500 options are likely to get old really fast (especially when they’re sure to be scintillating quotes like “OMG, I love squirrels!”)

2) Dogs don’t care about Twitter. They don’t care about sharing their thoughts online. They don’t want to talk about the squirrel, they want you to take them outside so they can chase it. The moral of the story: Don’t forget the real world. As you get caught up in social media, don’t sacrifice your relationship with your dog, or your writing, or the world outside of your office.

3) What’s the point? It can be connecting with friends or fans, or building a character’s online presence, or being an activist, but it has to be more than sharing your own thoughts for your own amusement. No one likes a narcissist, human or canine. The people who do a decent job tweeting as their dog are sharing information and insight into a dog’s world, versus attempting to actually give their dog a voice on Twitter. And, again, what makes all of this interesting is your unique perspective, not the canned response from some gadget.

4) Social networking is about being social and building a network. One-sided, pre-programmed messages don’t do the trick. You (or your dog) need to be available to respond and react to what’s happening in the Twitterverse.

If you can’t dedicate a few seconds to post a tweet, as your dog or yourself, it’s not worth being on Twitter. So be interesting, be unique, be interactive, and save the $29.99. Or, better yet, donate the money to your local animal shelter to help the dogs still looking for a home where they can set up a Twitter account.